See with Your Heart
part threeAll this silence is really starting to creep me out. Did I miss the evolution from primate to man behind those red-brown eyes on his fat head? That's a good one. I'll write that one down on my paper. If I keep thinking about what annoys me about him I won't think about everything about him I like. Like that cute thing he does with his hands when he's flustered and the exaggerated smile that would look out of place and fake on anyone else's face. I am completely defeating the purpose now.
"Hey, Daisuke?"
His face brightens up immediately. It's torcher to see that cute face look at me with bright trusting eyes. "What? Need another snack? Cause if you do, its no problem! I don't mind!"
"No, I was just.. looking at your paper. You haven't written anything."
He plopped his arms on top if the blank sheet and gave a wiry grin, "Oh.. I guess I..um.. was just thinking of other things."
I watched his eyes fall onto my page. The charcoal words may as well have been bright shiny daggers pointing towards his dropping body. It doesn't take an AP English student to read upside down. It doesn't help when the words are in print, all capital letters and kinda on the bold side. Now that I mention it, I need to sharpen my pencil. It'll make it easier to shove it through my eye.
But he doesn't get mad. He looks from the paper to my face with a smiling fa?ade, "You forgot illiterate, TS."
Lord help me, I laughed. It wasn't even that funny. But I suppose it was better than crying. The first snicker to leave my mouth sent Daisuke into a rumble of laughter as well and from there it erupted into a fit of side grabbing mirth. After trying to regain myself and letting out a rather loud snort, Daisuke fell to the floor. Tears were rolling down his face and his body crumpled up into a ball as it shook with amusement. I watched him for a moment, perhaps longer, thinking of nothing. Well, not nothing but it's hard to explain. It's like looking at a river and seeing only the rocking waves at first. But if you stare at it long enough, you see that there are things underneath those waves and just at the surface, a refection of yourself. Pretty deep, huh?
It's an Ishida thing I guess.
He stopped laughing somewhere between me staring and him staring back and somehow I missed the change from merriment to quiet reverence. Neither of us moved and even though he was lying on the ground, propped up on one elbow, I swear I could hear his heartbeat in the silence, in sync with my own.
"You're still crying, " I noted.
He took his sleeve and wiped at his face, smearing the wet tracks over his tanned skin. His cheeks were red from embarrassment.
"Guess I didn't expect you to snort when you laugh. You don't usually do that."
"No," I admitted, "I.. I'm sorry about what I wrote on my paper. I was steamed up about the fight and being locked in here and I wasn't being fair. You're a great guy. You're very caring and you'd do anything to make sure nothing had to be sacrificed. You're not dumb and you've gotten a lot better socially? I was just seeing through my closed fists, not my eyes. Or my heart for that matter."
"Your.. heart?"
I gulped, feeling very uncomfortable. I'm opening up way to much! I just ment to apologize, not declare my conflicting affection! Damnit, I'm in hot water now. I can't tell him how I feel! He'd hate me then even if he doesn't now. Or worse yet, he might tell Hikari! What would the others think? I couldn't function knowing they were all condemning me!
"Yeah, you know... uh.. enemies you see with your head, friends you see with your heart. It's a proverb.. or something. Yamato told it to me." I lied.
Daisuke's face was like a lighthouse in the dusk, "You mean.. we're friends?"
"Of course we are. If we weren't I'd have to sick Patamon on you."
"Patamon against V-mon? You've got to be kidding! He'd kick him right into Trainee!"
"Oh yeah?" I gave him a sideways look, almost an offer to prove it.
"Yeah."
From there we fell back into mindless staring. There wasn't much more to say. We both knew we were joking. So when the door opened up and the councilor walked in, we both broke apart and were offered our freedom. I gathered my things, looking at him as he did the same, and watched as he took step behind me, out of the room, out of the school, and off in our separate directions home.
***
Jun met me at the door to the apartment with a bunch of crap like, "oh, your in trouble now, dork." and other older sister jibes like that. Though I would have loved to have said something crude and inappropriate in response, she was running at the door to catch a group of friends at the moment and anything I shouted out at her would have been heard by my parents inside.
Ya win some, ya loose some.
As it was I was going to have trouble already waiting for me in the house. As I closed the door and took of my shoes, I could hear my mother sitting at the kitchen table with my father, both of them talking in tones which were much more hushed than normal. I like to call it the 'don't let the children know what we're plotting' tone. It holds very true in most circumstances. Though I would have loved to have avoided them completely, seeing as they had already spotted me by now thanks to Jun's obnoxious welcome that would be seen as a further offence. So I took my books, set them down by the tv and jumped into the kitchen with as much energy and optimism I could muster.
"Good afternoon! Any of you catch the TV line up for tonight? I'm really tired of the same ol' reruns."
"Sit down."
Mom's have the power to move things with just the slightest of fluctuation in their voices. Most men and children are affected by it. I wonder if they realize the power they wield? Rather than ask and risk further injury, I sat down and tried to keep a smile.
"The school councilor called today. She told us you got in a fight again." Mom paused slightly, "Who was it with, Daisuke?"
"A friend of mine. It was just a little misunderstanding." I explained.
She would have none of it.
"Which one. Have we met him?"
"Um.. yeah," I said, thinking back to when I'd invited the digidestioned to my house.
"Was it the one with the black hair?"
Ken. "No. He doesn't even go to my school."
"The one with the laptop?
Me get in a fist fight with Koushiro? I wanted to laugh, "No Mom."
"Fine then," she gave my father a 'told you so' look, "It's Takeru, the boy with the hat."
I looked between them, trying to figure out some sort of clue. "Yeah. Takeru. What's up? I mean, it was just a fight and we're friends again now.. sorta.. so we won't be fighting any more. I promise."
"Either way, you're grounded." Dad said calmly, "That means no friends, no TV, no phone and no dance this weekend."
Shit! "No dance! But I have to go! Takeru said he'd take me!"
Mom got a panicked look in her face and my father held her hand tightly. I thought over my sentence and quickly rephrased it.
"I mean, he said he'd get his brother to pick me up. A ride, you know?"
Mom was now looking at me funny. I hate it when she does that! I know exactly what's going through her head. She's thinking about Takada.
"You like him. You like Takeru and you got into a fight because you kissed him just like you did with Tama in Takada. It's going to happen all over again!"
She was starting to get hysterical. "Mom, no! We got into a fight over Hikari, my friend Tai's sister. You met her too. The cute girl with the camera? Remember her? I didn't kiss Takeru."
"Daisuke,"
I looked up at my father who was holding my mothers shaking hands over the table.
"Why don't you go to your room."
I nodded and left, listening to my mom as she started to cry in the background. I shut the door to my room and sighed. Somehow I knew that was going to happen.
"DAISUKE!"
Before I had time to react, the flying ball of blue pounced into my chest; it's famous head-butt landing me on my own rear. I looked up into two orbs of deep concern and love. My one and only digipal, demiveemon.
"Hey pal you nearly gave me a heart attack! Ya mind telling me when you're gonna do that next time?" I joked.
He smiled at me and gave me a hug with his tiny short arms, "I missed you! You were gone much longer today than you usually were! Where were you? Did you go play without me?"
"Without you? Never!" I declared giving him a rub on the top of his head, "I got into some trouble at school with Takeru but everything's cool now so don't you worry, okay?"
I could see demiveemon looking at me with disappointment. I figure Yamato and Taichi's Digimon looked at them that way a lot back when they used to not get along so well. I bet Patamon's looking at Takeru like this right now too.
There was a knock at the door and I quickly stashed demiveemon away.
"Come on in, the waters great!"
My dad poked his head around the door with a weary smile them entered and shut the door behind him.
"You're mother's just worried about you, you know that right?"
I nodded. I figured this was coming actually. Whenever mom goes ballistic and into one of her funks, dad usually puts things back together. Every family needs a moderator.
"She doesn't want you to get hurt again, Daisuke. That's all. You're older now and it might be even harder on you to leave if what happened at Takada were to happen again. It's not that she hates that you're gay. She loves you no matter what you are, and so do I. We both love you so much son."
"Thanks Dad." I've heard the speech before and while it's a nice speech, it gets old and worn after a while. Kinda like listening to 33 people read off a report over Japan in 1872. Mr. Hirojukai did that once to my class. I fell asleep and got a detention then too. But what I have learned is that after the speech, there are usually some let backs on punishment, "Does this mean I can still go to the dance?"
He seemed to think it over and my heart was racing like a grey hound after a white rabbit.
"We'll see." He knelt down and poked at my face with his finger, "But before we think about that, I say we think about what to do about this shiner you've got going here."
I yelped at his touch, his not being as tender as Takeru's. I sighed and got up though, fallowing him into the kitchen where a steak and an ice pack waited.